The Lost Truths
by Victorious Red Dawn
Summary: Life takes a turn for the worst as the Elrics lose their mother to an early grave. Ed along with his brother Al decide to defy nature itself to bring her back. But the Elrics aren't the only ones with a secret. Amestris is full of spies and mysteries...
1. Chapter1: Decision

The air was still, even as fluffy white clouds drifted lazily overhead. The clouds, the bright sunshine, and the pleasantries of the countryside seemed to mock the overwhelming pain that struck again and again with each breath that he took. He was breathing, she was not. She lay before him, six feet under, not knowing nor caring how the day was mocking all of their sorrow. He clenched his fists at his sides and couldn't bring himself to comfort his younger brother, who sat crouched next to him with his head buried in his arms.

Those who attended the funeral slowly left. "Boys…you're welcome to come have dinner with us, if you like," a familiar voice said gently. Neither boy could respond. The old woman sighed. "Come on, kid. Let's go," she said, turning away from the freshly dug grave. Her granddaughter hesitated, but then followed her grandmother down the all too familiar path.

For hours he stood there, his golden eyes glaring at the new headstone, as if the granite itself was to blame for his pain. It wasn't until sunset that either of them spoke.

"Brother…I'm hungry…and I'm cold too. How are we going to do this?" the youngest choked. He turned to his brother, who was still glaring defiantly at the lily-adorned grave. "How are we gonna live without her?" The eldest didn't even blink as he said "We're not, Al. We're going to bring her back."

Al took in a sharp breath. His brother finally blinked. He looked at Al and said, "I don't know about you, but I'm cold and hungry. Let's go home."

Al got up, his legs stiff from crouching all day. He was about to wipe his nose on his sleeve when his brother caught his arm. "You're not supposed to do that, Al. Mom said so." Al was shocked. "Brother, Mom's not…" he broke off as his brother shook his head.

"No, she's not, but she will be. Okay? Let's go eat," he said, patting Al on the shoulder and handing him a handkerchief.

"Thanks, Ed" Al whispered after blowing his nose noisily. Ed turned his gaze to his brother's tear streaked face. Smiling wryly, he wiped away his brother's tears with his thumb.

"Come on, it's cold." Ed wiggled out of his suit jacket and draped it over Al's slumped shoulders. As the night closed in, Ed led his sniffling brother home. As for Ed, he would not cry, because he would not let her die.

The next morning, Ed got up early to pay the milkman. Then he put together a breakfast of bread, milk, and eggs and began to set the table.

He nearly set a third plate but stopped right before taking the unneeded plate from the cupboard. He closed his eyes, his hand still on the dish. Gritting his teeth, he fought it, the surging grief.

He couldn't cry. If he did, that would mean, at least to him, that she was gone forever. He opened his eyes and silently let go of the plate. It was going to be okay.

Ed breathed normally again, reminding himself that Al needed him to be strong, to hope, and to believe. Quietly, he finished setting the table.


	2. Ch2: Sorrow with a Pinch of Insanity

Alphonse was dreaming, and he knew it, but that did not detract from the absolute horror of what he was witnessing.

He watched, detached from the dream, as he saw himself, screaming as black vines constricted around his dream self and pull him into the wall. Even so, Alphonse barely paid attention to his dream self; his attention was focused on Edward, his legs tied up in filthy rags, writhing in pain in a pool of blood on the floor and mostly unconscious.

"No…Al…Al…Alphonse!" Ed moaned, weakly lifting an arm towards the blank wall through which the dream Alphonse had disappeared. A thin arm, black as a starless night reached out from the wall towards Ed's blood-stained hand.

"Brother, I'm here!" Alphonse tried to shout, but he had no presence in the dream. He watched helplessly as Ed strained to reach the unearthly limb. "Brother, I'm here", said a voice that issued forth from the wall, in Alphonse's own voice. "Al…phonse…" Ed breathed as his hand hit the floor and he fell unconscious.

Al was relieved that Ed no longer reached for the dark monster, but filled with absolute horror when he saw it continued to reach for his brother.

"Ed! Edward! Wake up! Run away! Don't let it get you!" Alphonse screamed in his head. "NO!"

Al wrenched upright out of the bed. His sudden movement caused the piece of paper on the nightstand to slide off and flutter to the floor. It was still dark outside, and he was sitting fully dressed in his suit on the bed, with his shoes on.

He groaned, fell back, and rolled over onto his face, which was still stiff and puffy with yesterday's tears. Tears flowed afresh, staining the pillow. Impatiently brushing away the wetness in his eyes, he remembered the paper. He kicked off his shoes and climbed out of bed to retrieve it. Shrugging out of his suit jacket, he read:

_Alphonse:_

_ Breakfast is on the table. When you're done eating, get some firewood. I'm going to the market for some more food. _

_Be back soon,_

_Ed_

Al sighed. Ed was shirking out of getting firewood _again_, but then again, he _was_ going to market by himself. Al washed his face and changed his clothes. Then he shuffled to the kitchen table down the hall.

To his surprise, Ed was already there, eating breakfast while reading a book. "Morning, Al. Lots to do today", Ed grunted, his mouth full of food. Al nodded. "Well this is good, we can have breakfast together!" Ed exclaimed, closing the book.

Al took a closer look at what was in the glass next to Ed's plate. "Brother…is that milk in your glass?" Al breathed, incredulous. Ed's smile faded. "Yeah. So what?" he muttered, looking away. "You hate milk. You always have", Al said baldly.

Ed shot him a stern glance. "Mom says its important to drink at least one glass of milk a day. So that's what I'm doing." He crossed his arms and closed his eyes, looking proud of himself.

"But brother…you still haven't drunk it yet", Al giggled. Ed's eyes snapped open as his arms fell to his sides. "Oh. Yeah. Um…" he stammered. He eyed the white semi-opaque liquid with absolute revulsion.

"Yeah, no problem!" he cried, reaching for the milk with a reluctant but unhesitating hand. Throwing his head back, he swallowed the by now lukewarm milk in one gulp. The glass clanked against the table as he set it down and shuddered.

Al was impressed. He silently finished his own breakfast without incident and went outside to get firewood. By now the sun had risen just a bit over the horizon.

As he set the firewood down by the back door, he saw Ed's retreating figure in the distance. Al put a hand just above his eyes to better see his brother. He sighed and shook his head when he saw that Ed was reading the book again as he walked. Every dozen steps or so, he stumbled because he was so absorbed in what he was reading that he failed to watch where he was going.

Al considered that. Why would Ed be so preoccupied with a book…unless…it was a book about Alchemy?

He gasped, realization hitting him hard. Al scrambled up the stairs into the study he wasn't supposed to have ever been in, but had actually visited numerous times. Bursting through the door, he made a beeline for the bookshelf. He scanned the shelves for the volume he already knew wouldn't be there.

"He…he's reading Dad's notes", he breathed. Self-control abandoned him as he fell to his knees and sobbed. He wept for the loss of his mother, he cried for his brother's madness, and he choked on the hope that everything would somehow be okay.


	3. Chapter 3

Ed's narrowed eyes flew across the old journal. It was all he could do not to throw the book to the ground. After all that had happened, here was his best lead on what he wanted more than anything, and he couldn't even read half of it. Above all, it was the author's fault that he needed those notes in the first place. Sighing, Ed stowed the book under his right arm. He fished around in his pocket and pulled out a small part of his last allowance. Back home, he had a jar full of coins, almost enough to buy a small cottage. He would spend all of it and beg in the streets before he even looked at that filthy deserter's stash he thought darkly. Ed pushed these thoughts to the back of his mind as he approached the grocer's stall.

"Four potatoes, two stalks of celery, a loaf of bread…" he began, but broke off as he was distracted by a familiar figure that froze a few feet behind him. The grocer took no notice. "Is that all kid?" he grunted, pushing a brown paper bag on the counter towards Ed. Slowly, Ed nodded and paid the man. "Thanks."

Ed walked to the frozen girl. "Hey Winry." He smiled for her benefit. Winry held her hands behind her back and rocked on her heels.

He looked for eye contact but received none as she continued to stare hard at the ground. Both children remained silent for a minute more. "You okay?" Ed finally asked finally, putting a hand on her shoulder.

Winry's head snapped up at the question. "No, Ed. Are you okay. I should be asking you", Winry said mechanically. Though she now made eye contact with him, Ed knew she wasn't seeing him, not really. He gazed with frank wonder at the blue eyes so filled with pain.

"I guess I'm okay. I have to be. For Al", he sighed. "But forget about that. What's eating you?" he pinched her cheek, dragging up a long-forgotten joke. Embarrassed, she drew away from his touch, the skirt of her dress ruffling silently as she did so.

"I…I wish that I could have been there...for my parents…the way you were there for her," she whispered.

Ed's half-hearted smile faded and his face hardened. "You don't know what you're saying." His voice was gruff; he looked at the ground.

"I think I do, Edward".

"Winry, you _don't_ know. I watched her suffer and I couldn't do anything to help her. I watched her slip away and all I could do was hold her hand and watch." Ed drew in a deep breath. He wouldn't – couldn't cry.

"Do you wish you weren't there when she died?" Winry demanded, her eyes tightening.

"No, I don't wish that. But there was no reason for it. No reason at all." He shook his head slowly.

"There wasn't a real reason for _them _either!" Winry snapped.

Ed tilted his head to the side. "No, no there wasn't. But would you have _wanted_ to see them go? To see them go and not be able to do anything at all?"

He knew he wasn't fighting fair, but he couldn't stand to see Winry's grief revived. Besides, if she kept going, he might cave in and tell her about his plan. She would want to help, and Pinako might find out…

"I..I..I'm sorry, Ed", Winry said finally. "Yeah, me too", Ed muttered. He shook his head as if to clear it. "I gotta go…and take care of Al." Ed shrugged. "Oh…okay", said Winry, finally looking Ed full in the face. She saw something in Ed's eyes that she could neither identify nor ignore. He was here, right now, but there was something off…

"Alrighty, then. See ya!" Ed waved over his shoulder as he walked away. "Bye, Ed…" Winry whispered, her eyes filling with tears. His retreating figure melted into a blur as he walked away from her.


	4. Chapter 4: Promises

"I think that's the last one", Al thought aloud. He took a step back from the bookcase, carrying about a dozen or so books. If he could hide them before Ed came home, then maybe things wouldn't be okay, but they would be better. Anything was better than the temptation of hope Ed's idea was causing. Wanting to hope, but fearing the result…

Al shook his head as if to clear it. He turned to leave the room when Ed burst into the room and promptly collided with him. The boys went down in a heap as the books thudded to the floor all around them.

"Yeesh, Al! Watch where you're going", Ed complained, rubbing his head and propping himself up on one elbow. Al regarded the ceiling with blank confusion as to what on Amestris just happened. "Sorry brother."

Ed got up and held his right hand out to his brother. Sighing, Al took it and got off the cold stone floor. After Al was on his feet, Ed finally took note of the fallen books.

"Al…what's all this?" he demanded, picking up an open book that lay at his feet. "Um…well…" Al stammered. He didn't want to tell his older brother that he was about to hide all of the books that even mentioned human alchemy.

It seemed he wouldn't have to, since Ed exclaimed, "Al, these books all have something to do with human transmutation! I was going to get them all together, and here you've already gone and done it." He beamed proudly at his younger brother, who nodded mutely.

"Well, this is great! I was going to talk to you about this later today, but I guess we can do it now," Ed chuckled. Al shrugged. "Okay, sure."

Ed plopped down on the floor and reached for the tattered old journal. Al gasped. Ed looked up, his golden eyes questioning. "Al?"

At first, Al couldn't respond. Then, slowly he answered, "That's Dad's old journal. Maybe we should ask him before we use it, brother…" he broke off, due to the furious sparks in his brother's eyes.

"If he didn't want anybody to read it, he shouldn't have written it. Besides, he had to know that we'd read it sometime when he ditched us", Ed spat the words. Al flinched away from his brother's sudden anger.

Still glaring, Ed continued. "He gave up any parental authority when he up and left us. The angry tone of his voice warned Al not to say anything more on the subject, but he ignored his instinct in order for another shot at reason.

"But, even so, he would know better than us how to do it, right? Maybe he could help us figure out how to do the transmutation…" Al swallowed, trying not to give into the tears already welling in his eyes. He took a deep breath, and bowed his head. Ed waited patiently, so Al could get it out of his system. "I really think we should ask him first," Al said, looking Ed full in the face. "Just…ask him…is all," he finished lamely, now focusing on Ed's right shoulder so he wouldn't have to see Ed's reaction.

To his intense surprise, he heard Ed chuckle darkly. Al saw that his brother was looking at the stone floor with a bitter, ironic smile. "You really think he would tell us?" he hissed through his clenched teeth. Al didn't dare answer. He too turned his embarrassed gaze to the floor.

His head snapped up when he heard Ed get to his feet. "Brother, I…I'm sorry-" he started to say, but broke off when he saw Ed shake his head.

"Don't worry about it, Al. We'll talk about it later. Why don't we go to the bakery and get an apple pie?"

"Go to…what?"

"Why don't we go to the bakery and get an apple pie?" Ed repeated impatiently, gesturing towards the door. "We need something to take our minds off this whole mess for a while. Besides, I know that apple's your favorite."

Al didn't know how to respond; he simply continued to stare perplexedly at his brother, who grinned. "Come on, let's go," he urged, tugging Al by the hand. "We'll get a pie and then we'll do some research about human alchemy. It'll be as easy as…well, pie!"

Al's eyebrows came together as they reached the front door. He pulled his hand out of Ed's grasp and said, "Okay, you've officially lost it brother. It's not going to be easy at all." He crossed his arms as Ed turned back towards him. "I'm not having any part of this until we've had some proper alchemical training. If you think we can do this without some kind of guidance, you're completely off your rocker. I'm not going anywhere if you're going to start talking crazy."

Ed sighed. "I know we need training, but before we look into that, we need to see what we can do on our own first. Consider it…preliminary research," he said impatiently, reaching into his allowance jar that was situated on a shelf in the lowest kitchen cupboard. Even now he insisted that it was a location of convenience and not necessity.

Al still hadn't moved away from the door. He watched his brother rifle through the jar's contents. Though he was still upset, Al felt a pang of remorse. Ed was just trying to be a good brother was all. He sighed and his arms fell to his sides.

Ed looked up as his brother's eyes filled with tears. "Al? We will find a teacher. Honest, we will. I…" Ed stopped short. He was going to say "I'll try my best to find one", but that just wasn't god enough. He squared his shoulders and said in a loud voice, "I promise you, we will find a teacher. We won't do this blind, Al. Of course we'll find a teacher."

Al rubbed his eyes. "Really?" he smiled a watery smile.

"I promise."

Al grinned, and Ed breathed a sigh of relief. Ed was more relieved than Al could have possibly guessed; Al was completely on his side now, and Ed knew he was unlikely to hesitate as much as he had before. And, though Ed didn't realize it yet, having Al's confidence gave a huge boost to his own that would have crumbled without Al's support.

"Let's go get some pie!" Ed crowed, locking the door and leading the way to town.


End file.
